Half Man. Half Machine. All Cop.
What a goofy tagline to one of the greatest films to come out of that turbulent decade known as: The 1980's: A true wasteland of a decade.
Movies were at an all time low with only such gems such as Raging Bull and Weekend at Bernie’s able to stand out and be something worthy of the moniker of 'art'. Outside of the kiddie stuff like The Karate Kid: Daniel’s Summer Vacation and The Karate Kid 2:Daniel’s Summer Vacation Electric Boogaloo and the adult stuff like The Karate Kid Part 3: The Search for the 10 Thousand Dollar Tree, there were very few films that stood out from this decade to actually stand the test of time.
One of those very few films is the 1985 film Robocop but this you already know if you knew happen to be somebody that knew about anything. But then again, if you already know, consider this a reminder to remember that Robocop is a real great movie.
Why though? Why is it great? I've spent a large part of my life watching this goddamn movie over and over again from the young age of 5 to now at the sweet old age of 52 and you figure dear reader that I should have gained some insight as to why its great but alas with old age, a strange obsession with cold water showers and non-stop movie watching, I needed to refresh my memory by giving it another view.
The Dramatic & Highly Accurate Reading of Robocop
The movie of Robocop deals with the story of Alex Murphy. A regular human family man who was a cop transferred to a new precinct. One from HELL as another fellow officer calls it.
He gets paired up with a new partner named Lewis and they hit the streets.
Meanwhile at OCP, the conglomerate that has just essentially bought Detroit, the company executives have themselves a meeting at the top floor with Dick Jones showing off the kick-ass ED-209.
The robot sure is kick ass but it really sucks at hearing and ends up killing an executive that volunteered to be an arresting subject.
This dude gets shot then shot then shot the fuck up some more until they pull the plug. This dude is super dead but someone with a kind heart screams for someone to call the goddamn paramedics.
Hilarious.
Then the Old Man Boss Man says' I'm very disappointed in you.' To Dick Jones who replies with 'It's just a glitch.'
Rolling on the floor with hysterics.
Then Bob Morton pops in between them and says 'I got this real kick ass Robocop program man, you gotta give it a shot.' The Old Man Boss Man will give young Bob Morton a shot and Bob is stoked. Dick Jones is not.
He leaves the meeting, with one less buddy since he is super dead, and gets a warning from his not super dead buddy about Dick Jones but Bob brushes it off.
His buddy then mentions about Kenny and how its a shame he got killed by a million bullets but Bob replies with 'Life in the big city.' Or something to that effect. Now Bob just has to wait for a volunteer to get the Robocop program going.
The real clear message: Executives Suck.
Alex and Lewis become friends over coffee then they get a call.
Bank Robbery. Suspects on the run in their silver UPS van. Murphy and Lewis hit the road. Clarence Boddekirk is furious at his henchman Bobby for burning the fucking money. He throws said burned money at Bobby but then is warned about the cops on their tale.
Both sides get ready and then shoot it out. Back and forth they trade bullets until Bobby takes one in the leg. Clarence tells his fellow goons to help him and they lift the injured Bobby up. The shooting is paused as the cops reload their guns and Clarence Boddekirk asks one the greatest philosophical question of our times.
'Can you fly Bobby?'
Then immediately, the cops drive back to the rear of the van as the goons toss Bobby out of the back of the van. He crashes onto the police car and stalls the cops. Checkmate.
The bank robbers make their escape into an abandoned industrial zone and the police follow right behind them.
The two make their way in. Murphy goes low and Lewis goes high. Lewis catches a goon on a pee break and gets him to put his hands up. He turns.
With the delivery that can only be seen in a pornographic film, the goon asks her 'Can I zip this up?'
She doesn't respond but takes a look but that one look gets her knocked off the side of the railing. Lewis is out cold.
Murphy sneaks around and catches two of the robbers catching up on some television. He strikes a critical and guns one down but then gets caught by the rest of the gang.
They start toying with him with Clarence starting it off with 'I don't like cops and cops don't like me.' then knocks him to his knees.
Then they all point their guns at him and achieve in what can be referred to as a FUCKING CRAZY DETROIT EXECUTION STYLE.
I mean they shoot off his entire arm to start it off then they all proceed to unload their shotguns into him until they run out of shells. He's still breathing though. Groaning in pain until Clarence Boddekirk shows up to put a bullet in his head. Lewis sees the entire thing but does nothing and the doctors fly him in but Murphy dies on the operating table.
Bob Morton has his man. Commence Robocop Program.
Bob and fellow jerk executives say that he signed his name on the dotted line and he's legally dead so why not make a robot out of him?
**What a cool way they introduce him. They just build it up and up while never going for the straight forward profile until the end. The first shot of him is on a television set, then through glass as he walks by, then a quick shot of his full back then finally you see him but through a fence. Just such a great reveal when he stands in front of his Robocop Sleeping Chair.**
They give him some tests to make sure he's 100% then send him off to the shooting range. There's like a weird score counter that keeps going up as he explodes the paper target with his machine gun pistol. Then they give him a car.
As cop that is a robot, he hits the streets and makes a name for himself as the new guy in town.
He kills a man with a clothesline, he shoots the dick off a man, and then he uses his awesome robot strength to punch a man through a window from the 2nd floor. All legally enforced measures of justice.
Back at OCP, Bob gets a executive bathroom pass and takes himself a piss and talks shit about Dick Jones as he takes a shit in a nearby stall. Dick Jones emerges from his constipation and everyone leaves the bathroom.
Bob isn't scared and goes to wash his hands and Dick Jones confronts him. Respect is the bottom line and Bob doesn't have any then he grabs him by the hair and Bob releases from his grasp and says Dick Jones ain't shit. Then leaves, possibly wondering how many times he wiped before not washing his hands.
After a time though, the inner essence of the Robot Cop starts to crack the surface.
How?
It all starts with a dream.
As Robocop rests from a day of serving justice through fascist means, he starts to dream of the only dream he can dream; the day his killers killed him.
Just unloading every shell they had in their shotguns though he manages to live until Clarence Boddekirk shoots him in the head.
He rises out of his trademarked Robocop Sleeping Chair and makes his way to the streets. As he makes his way out of the police station, his old partner Lewis asks him if he remembers her. He can't remember anything but then she says something that starts to break him down.
"Murphy. Its You."
Robocop hits the streets in a daze as Bob Morton shows up at the precinct. He makes a scene and says they ain't shutting down no goddamn Robot Cop over a dream. Bob Morton acts as though he's important but the Chief just says he's a serious asshole and all is well at the police station.
Robocop drives with the emotion of a Robot and comes across a gas station robbery. He rolls up on the scene and pulls out his gun then says 'Dead or Alive. You're coming with me."
The Robber knows these words and gives Robocop another piece of the Identity puzzle when he says
"You're dead. We Killed you."
Robocop stands in the middle of a leaking gas station stunned at those words. The Robber escapes while shooting wildly and ends up striking a gas hose then tosses his cigarette before driving away.
Robocop takes care of the robbery with...probably the worst means in taking care of the situation where the gas station blows up and he shoots out the guys tires on his motorcycle. He asks the man who was ejected violently onto parked cars.
"WHO ARE YOU?"
But the injured man just says 'ahhhhhhhhhh' in moaning pain.
This then leads into Robocops personal investigation to figure who this guy was. He uses his Robot Cop switchblade and jacks into the Police Computer. Identifying the man, then his known associates then CLARENCE BODDICKER.
He starts tracking through his rap sheet and comes across the Murder file of Alex J Murphy. His human photo on display as the words Deceased appear in the red over it then he sees the address.
He makes his way over to house and enters possibly THE saddest scene in any movie that deals with a cyborg. Even sadder than that tears in the rain scene from Blade Runner.
Robocop enters the house and walks around and then forgotten memories strike. Memories of the past come to life and its as though he's back in time. Then the sad reality of the present kills him.
His first memory being that of his son watching television then asking if he could shoot like TJ Lazer. The next is him wandering into the kitchen and grabbing a photo they all took on Halloween. The photo igniting the rush to make it in front of the camera before it takes the photo.
He crushes the photo in his robotic hands then walks into bedroom. Confronting his wife who looks into his eyes and says how she always wanted to tell him how much she loves him. He tries to walk closer to her but she disappears. Just another memory. Anger erupts as he realizes whats been taken away from him and he smashes the TV module that’s been trying to sell him the house ever since he walked through the front door.
He walks into a dance club with all eyes on him then confronts Leon. Leon goes for a kick in the balls but it does 0 damage to Robot Cop but its a critical to Leon's foot. He gasps in pain then falls to the floor. Robot Cop grabs him by the hair and starts dragging him away from the dance floor.
Cut To: Bob Morton having a good time with a pair of models, some scotch, and a couple vials of cocaine. Conversations is of the Einsteins sort then the door bell rings.
Surprise Attack: Clarence Boddekirk shows up with a pistol and yells 'Bitches Leave' which causes the two models to leave quickly. Clarence starts popping shots into Bob's legs and cripples him. Clarence pops in a DVD of Dick Jones saying that Bob fucked up by hurting his feeling and now has to make up for that.
Clarence then sexily places a BOMB on the table that blows up the ENTIRE HOUSE.
Cut to: Drug Dealers Drug Making Warehouse. Clarence and Sal trying to make a deal about the cocaine being created. A good nature back and forth between drug maker and drug dealer before everyone pulls out a gun and points it at everyone else. The Ultimate Mexican Stand Off.
They calm down and the guns lower but Robocop comes banging on the door to ruin the mood and the guns rise again. He knocks the door down and tells everyone to give up.
One of Clarences guys replies with the ubiquitous 'FUCK YOU!' which causes everyone to start shooting. They fucked up BIG TIME.
Robocop takes every bullet they have to offer then responds with his own.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
His Robot senses on full alert as he takes kill shots without even looking .
Justice is being served HOT!
Everyone keeps shooting and fool themselves into believing that their bullet will be the one to stop him but no dice.
Clarence makes a run for it and jumps on top on of those warehouse offices. He falls right in and Robocop starts reading him the Miranda rights by pauses in-between every right by throwing him through a window. Clarence breaks the code of the streets and spills his guts that the guy funding his crime empire is none other than Dick Jones himself.
Robocop starts giving him the Choke Hold of Justice but Clarence reminds him through his last breaths that he's a cop. Robocop stops the Peoples Choke Hold and acknowledges to the scumbag that ruined his life that he is right. He is a cop.
The cops are threatening strike to the chief as Murphy shows up with Clarence.
“Book him."
“Whats the charge?"
"He's a cop killer."
Robocop drives towards a matte painting to confront Dick Face Jones while Clarence spits blood on the Chiefs desk.
“Just give me my fucking phone call."
Robocop enters OCP headquarters and makes his way up the elevator.
**For a moment, I have to just say that this score is the fucking greatest. Every piece of music is just perfect for every scene. By the time the credits start rolling, you will be humming this theme song. Back to the movie.**
DIRECTIVE 4. Dick Jones secret weapon to protect himself from Robocop. Making him unable to arrest any OCP official which makes Robocop start to shutdown as ED-209 shows up on the scene.
'I had to kill Bob Morton because he made a mistake. Now its time to erase that mistake.'
ED-209 starts to fuck up Robocop. Shooting at him with bullets then punching him with his gun turret hand. Robocop manages to get ED-209 to shoot off his own arm and starts making his escape. ED-209 responds by shooting MISSLES. Not big ass missiles but missiles nonetheless.
Robocop evades them then heads down the stairs where ED-209 plummets after trying to take a single stair and lands on his back. Screaming and wailing like a child unable to get up. Robocop makes it to the garage door and opens it to see police car spotlights shining on him as every member of the police force are aiming their gun at him.
'Prepare to fire.'
Fellow officers refuse to do so but just about everyone starts to fire at the commanding officers command. Robocop takes some heavy fire. Already damaged from his fight with ED-209, he tries to run away.
Ultimately having to crawl away as the guns keep firing with the objective to destroy him. He leaps off the side of one parking garage floor then falls down two more. Headlights blind him but its Lewis. She helps him up to the car then they make their escape.
CUT TO: Stop Motion Dinosaur. Commercial for the 6000 SUX.
**So I didn't write them but throughout the film are news & commercial breaks. Giving the viewer a taste of how shitty the world is but ultimately how shitty Detroit is at the moment. The news break and commercials are fantastic but back to the movie.**
Clarence is out of jail and makes his way to Dick Jones office while making a pass at his Secretary.
He goes into the office and they start having an argument. Dick Jones calling him an idiot while Clarence not wanting to do shit when it comes to getting near Robocop and even more so, trying to kill it. But Dick Jones offers a sweet deal of virgin territory for a scumbag to make money in when they start building New Delta City. Dick Jones says the most horrific piece of dialogue in the entire film.
"We practically are the military."
Sends chills down to my wahakas.
Lewis drives to the same industrial zone that Murphy got murdered in for that is where Robocop is hiding out. Cops are going on strike and Robocop gets a power drill. Pointing it at his head like a man committing suicide. He takes the screws off his helmet and shows the final results. Just the face of a man is all that is left. He learns what happened to his wife and son and says,
"I can feel them. But I can't remember them."
People running wild in the streets. Cops are on strike and everyone is going on a rampage. The Robber at the gas station is trying to watch TV but these ramping assholes wont let him so he breaks the display glass and turns the volume up. The rest of the gang arrives with Clarence showing up with Military Hardware.
Leon is shocked but the other men dig the new toy but then Clarence takes aim at one of the goons new stolen car and blows it up. Gas Robbery Man takes the gun out of his hands and blows up a nearby store front.
Another goon shoots out a fire hydrant then blows up a truck. Gas Robbery Man takes aim at an adult book store and blows it up. Breaking the heart of every man looking for solitude in the guise of a darkroom and a quarter slot for a clip of porno.
Clarence leads them away from the random mayhem to focus on their main objective: KILLING THE ROBOCOP.
Robocop takes his gun and starts practicing him aim. Getting his targeting system back in order after the failed murder attempt by Detroit's finest. Lewis helps him align his targeting system and this is the most tangible the film gets to having a sex scene as they take aim at baby food. Sex Without Sex. Metaphor. Get it?
The Clarence gang arrives in the industrial zone with their explosion firing guns and Robocop goes around for a sneak attack. He throws a piece of metal that distracts them to fire at nothing. He made their presence known but then Robocop announces 'LOOKING FOR ME?'
Then immediately kills one of them on the spot. They fire back and miss every shot. Then slow ass Robocop evades two more shots as he continues his slow ass walk. Gas Robbery Man in the silver UPS van tries to take him out in a head on collision but Robocop just steps out of the way and he slams right into a toxic waste vat.
The driver flies out of the back of the van as deformed as can be. The incredible melting man is alive and well.
Lewis and Clarence have a chase in their cars. The Melting Man asking fellow goon Leon for help and wails in pain the entire time. Leon runs away and the Melting Man hobbles to his fate.
He walks out into the dirt road and is immediately run over by Clarence who then flips his car into a piece of land that was dug out or something. Brown water everywhere. Lewis arrives then gets shot and falls into the brown water pit.
Robocop arrives and Clarence sees Leon making his move to a scrap metal lift and then Clarence starts getting scared as Robocop gets closer without the intention of arresting him.
Leon drops scrap metal on top of Robocop and the two celebrate but Lewis ruins it by shooting and exploding Leon in the control booth. Clarence is hurt but then sees Robocop is still alive and stabs a metal piece of scrap into him.
'Sayonara ROBOCOP!'
Is what he says and Robocop replies by pulling out his Robocop Switchblade and stabs Clarence in the neck who then starts bleeding EVERYWHERE. Lewis says she's a mess but Robocop replies they can fix her.
Dick Jones is giving a sales pitch about ED-209 and mentions that there is one downstairs guarding the building. Robocop shows up and takes care of him. ED-209 doing a funny little fall as Robocop enters the building.
Unannounced, Robocop enters the board room meeting and accuses Dick Jones of murder. Dick Jones denies it but Robocop uses his bloody Robocop Switchblade to jack into the TV monitors and play the incriminating evidence of Dick Jones saying he killed Bob Morton.
Dick Jones takes the Old Boss Man hostage and Robocop cant make a move until The Old Boss Man fires him then Robocop shoots the shit out of him which then causes him to fall backwards into the glass and THEN he falls from the top floor and to his death. The most legal of deaths.
Robocop twirls the gun and starts walking away and the Old Boss Man says
'Nice Shooting son. Whats your name?'
Robocop turns around and with a smile says,
"Murphy."
Half Man , Half Machine, All Existential Dilemma.
The one thing that always amazes me is HOW this fucking movie works.
This is the 1980's. A time where movies were at their least serious. How do I make such a blown out of proportions statement like that?
Because I can.
This is the time of Spielberg making feel good movies like E.T. A film about a boy becoming friends with a walking turd. Though I have to admit that those Indiana Jones films are real great. Even the Monkey Brains.
This is the time of Star Wars where a blood disease known as The Force was tainting viewers into believing that Ewoks are Cool. The time of Cannon Films believing that Stallone starring in a movie about Truck Driving and Arm Wrestling would shake the world to its core.
It was a time of true sadness on these North American shores but Robocop manages to exceed in being both an entirely commercial film because only a film about a cop becoming a robot cop could be made under the banner of being a commercial film but then again this is the time of Orion pictures where people just showed and said,"I got an idea." and they would respond with "Cool. Here's some cash. Go do something and come back and we'll talk some more."
It's a commercial film that manages to go somewhere rarely seen in commercial films. It manages to find something….human. Like actually human. Not some bullshit on the surface everything is going to be okay by the end of running time type of movie but a real struggling to find oneself then accepting whatever the fuck you are by the end of it.
That apparently was always in the script. How do I know? I read and listened to a lot of interviews regarding Robocop. As well as being an Unlicensed Genius, I am also a Unlicensed Robocop Archival Professor. Which equates to knowing a shit ton about Robocop.
But what Paul Verhoeven did with the film is take it to another layer by infusing the concept of Jesus. Robocop therefore is the true Red, White, & Blue American Jesus. For a guy that has no interest in faith or the divine, Verhoeven sure does have a great interest into Jesus. He wrote an entire book about the guy and trying to understand him and what I got from it is that Paul Verhoeven is a big fan of the sell your cloth and buy a sword Jesus and this is the Jesus in which he makes out of Robocop.
As you know though, you can't have the resurrection without the death and oh boy what a death. Which obviously caused great censorship but luckily with today’s world, the Unrated cut of the film is not only readily available but is the mandatory standard for every streaming platform.
Not only was that scene shorten but also the boardroom scene where Kenny, the unsuspecting executive, gets annihilated was cut down as well for the theatrical release and first round of home video.
The Unrated version has probably been around long enough with the Criterion release of it on Laserdisc but I cannot verify this. So its only speculation. Maybe I'll verify it after I write this. Maybe I won't. Deal with it.
This crises that Alex Murphy goes through is what makes the film just so heartbreaking. Here’s this average joe that was trying to get through another day on the job right? He lives in Detroit which is just getting shit on itself with its failing automotive industry and just failing as city as a whole. At this point, Cleveland and Detroit are neck in neck as worst city. New York was already on its way to cleaning up and becoming Disneyland. So Murphy figures that the best job he could get would to be a cop.
Make a living for him and his family to get by. Maybe his kid will go on to a better life. Somewhere outside of Detroit.
So he’s on the job making a buck, an honest buck as far as Detroit standards are set and then he gets transferred. He don’t make complaints and just rolls with the punches. First day in the new district, he gets into a tough situation but goes through with it then just gets fucking EVISCERATED. Sure there is the political and economical conundrums playing in the background while this poor schmuck has to die then come back as a science experiment.
Having to deal with the fact that he came back in a way that he never asked for. This machine that is claimed to be half man but the only piece of man that remains is his face and even that is covered in a helmet. That and his inner human but nobody gives a shit about that. They just want the machine. Nothing more. But Murphy, through all the suffering, setbacks, and vengeance he has to bestow in this world, he reaches a sense of peace at the end.
What just an absolute perfect ending. Murphy smiling towards the camera and saying his name. Not Robocop but replying with a ‘Murphy’.
Terminator 2 is a film that claims that a machine learned why humans cry but Robocop is about the man in the machine that cannot cry when he needs to.
A Personal Favorite
I fucking LOVE this movie. I remember watching this movie over and over again ever since I was a kid. It was this VHS tape along with Pinocchio and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This trifecta was on repeat over and over and over again when I was a small lad of 32. Then the DVD revolution came and…I kept watching my VHS tape of Robocop over and over again.
How I managed to find friends and actually exist outside of movies is a mystery that I can't figure out nor can I say am trying to solve because I rather spend that theoretical time contemplating and wondering to just watch a movie.
Then that 1 day struck. The day the VHS Player ate my tape. I never forgave that son of a bitch and he's probably in my closet collecting dust. I should explode it somehow…but anywho, a DVD copy of the film was immediately on my agenda.
I think the people I lived with who also happened to be my family had a DVD player by this time so I was in luck but a lot of my favorite movies were still on tape…but then again, I didn't have much direction when it came to movies.
I was lost when it came to watching movies. I didn’t know anything about anything except that Robocop kicked ass until that fateful day when I saw the film Once Upon A Time in the West but that’s a story for later.
So my tape was done and I had to go find a new one and where do you go to find a movie at this time? At the local SAMGOODY.
What the hell is that you are probably asking? It was a magical place where dreams were on sale. I looked through the aisles and what did I find but GOLD. A used copy of the Criterion Collection release of the film. I didn't know much about them Criterion folks at the time but I saw it was 10 bucks and I figured that was a good price. Robocop on DVD was a better time than the tape.
The DVD revolution was alright by me at that moment. So now it was a case of finding a DVD of everything. Around that time was when I saw the greatest movie of all time and that made my search for movies kick into high gear.
Decades Past.
The DVD is fine still and beautiful where it stands but this new release, this newly released Blu-Ray of the film from Arrow Films is the true bee's knees.
I already had the MGM Blu-Ray release of the film but this release has those features along with some new features. There are some great production pieces with interviews with just about everyone involved in the film getting made but the absolute best new piece of content is the video piece featuring Super Robocop fan: Julien Dumont.
He's got himself a lot of Robocop props over the years and goes into detail regarding them and the different Robocop films they were a part of.
From the various suits that were made and the history behind them, the helmets, the gun, and some storyboard art but the absolute coolest piece he has is this MASSIVE Robocop poster. I mean its fucking crazy big and is like 9 pieces of posters to bring this one massive one. Just the absolutely fucking cool.
Final Words
Just watch it. Its great. The sequels…not so much. The animated cartoon show…not so much. The live action television series….only for a laugh. I know there is a Robocop comic with Frank Millers involvement but I don’t know much about it beyond its existence. There’s a pretty cool Robocop 2 arcade game and the Sega Genesis version of Robocop vs Terminator is pretty rad. Can’t say much about the other games but I have heard absolutely terrible things about the original XBOX game.
You know there was a remake? That was pretty cool. It wasn’t the greatest but as a modern day Robocop, I don’t know if you can get better than that.
So just ignore everything else and watch THIS film. Its great.